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Blaming Bobby Brown

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Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • wilda

    It don't matter who did what and why Whitney was a grown woman who made her own decisions if Bobby did start Whitney on drugs it was her choice to use are stay sober!!! Plz let her rest in peace no one knows exactly what happen but God and Whitney!!!! It was just her time no matter what she was going home to glory on that day..God bless her family and friends

    wilda Monday, 20 February 2012 22:42 Comment Link
  • lakisha

    To me She went out just like Billie Holiday and other female singers who has passed because of drugs its not no ones fault that she is dead but hers I loved her music and grew up on bobby music also. If bobby did introduce her to that drug life that's a monster her will have to deal with . Who are we to judge

    lakisha Monday, 20 February 2012 22:03 Comment Link
  • ebony

    It doesn't matter who got who started with the drugs...people are actin like it just started yesterday.they been getting high..and whitney is a legendary icon.I wish people would shut up n let her rest in peace.it is what it is.damn

    ebony Monday, 20 February 2012 21:46 Comment Link
  • wealthylady

    This was a much needed article. I am so tired of the "Bash Bobby Brown" crowd. Aretha said in best in her intervew"you never know what goes on in marriage" If the stone throwers lives were unveiled to the public, what they did, who they did it with & how they did it, I doubt if one "stone" wld be thrown! I sorrow for Whitney, I pray for Bobby, Bobbi K & Cissy, Not just saying it either!

    wealthylady Monday, 20 February 2012 21:38 Comment Link
  • Tracy Sutton

    Thanks for the posting! Because everyone is taking one side. We do not know and will never know the truth from both sides. I just pray that he will continue to be a part of his daughters life 100%. I think how they handle him at the service was wrong! I also think they took over and Bobbi Kris did not have a say in anything. When they came in the church and left out the church Bobbie Kristine should have been first and then her grandmother.Right there tells you they were running everything. Last but not lease! That darn
    Tyler spoke!! And Kim song the hell out that song! My prayers will continue for this family. But I pray that they stop blaming the man for everything.

    Tracy L. Irving, Texas

    Tracy Sutton Monday, 20 February 2012 21:27 Comment Link
  • sheelah

    BOBBY &WHITNEY HAD SO MUCH LOVE FOR EACH OTHER....GRANTED PEOPLE DEFINE LOVE DIFFERENTLY......he loves and grieve the best way he knows how if BOBBY and GOD FORGIVES why cant we get past this. FOCUS ON HER BEAUTIFUL LEGACY....... her voice....people SHE HAS ANOTHER GIFT FOR US IN AUGUST 2012 "SPARKLE".. ..LIFE IS LEARNING HOW TO LOVE

    sheelah Monday, 20 February 2012 21:20 Comment Link
  • wanda bradley

    This story is so true but it's so sad when bobby could not be there for his daughter whatever the pass is its the pass bobby whatever u have to do to be a part of your daughters life u have to roll over to get to her do that because she needs u more then ever and i feel in my heart that whitney would want u to step up take God with u bobby and be a man let no one stop u from getting to her.love u from a big fan of of
    u and whitney.

    wanda bradley Monday, 20 February 2012 21:14 Comment Link
  • derrick.p carter sr.

    judge ? wow .perfect person please ? u know who u are .

    derrick.p carter sr. Monday, 20 February 2012 21:11 Comment Link
  • derrick.p carter sr.

    judge ? wow .ferfect person please ? u know who u are .

    derrick.p carter sr. Monday, 20 February 2012 21:11 Comment Link
  • Sheila Ashley

    Having done theater in the late 80's it was circulating then that Whitney was on drugs then while in a relationship with Eddie Murphy. It is said Bobby Brown was known to do weed, but that his drug use maximized with his relationship with Whitney and because of the biopolar disease, the intensity of the negativity in his life was to the 10th power. I think those in Hollywood didn't want to accept Whitney was her OWN person and did what SHE wanted to do. In 1996 Bobby Brown on Oprah Winfrey told her that. The world has to understand that Bobby is not only an ex-addict but deals with biopolar and that they can very well cause him to be in an unhealthy place which would not be good for him right now in order to be what Bobbi Kristina has need of which is to be her father and ONLY surviving PARENT! Thanks for this article and by the way blessed that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson stood to tell the news that Bobby Brown wasn't making a scene and that the issues weren't about him bringing 9 ppl to sit in the family section of the funeral but that he and his children were asked to be removed from their seating 3 times and finally asked to leave.

    Sheila Ashley Monday, 20 February 2012 21:01 Comment Link

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