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Blaming Bobby Brown

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Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • tasha ellis

    for the record whitney and bobby was not crack heads they was smoking premos thats coke and weed mixed and two dont nobody knows who use drugs first that none of our business but it did look like to me whitney was doing it more than bobby . we all have demons and demons trying to attack us and she had one and she was delivered from that . we all had badd habits that we needed to get delivered from if its sex , drugs weed , booze, cigarettes its all spirits that need to be released so dont judge .at the end she still loved the lord.

    tasha ellis Monday, 20 February 2012 18:53 Comment Link
  • rhonda

    Well said Jamilah. I never thought Bobby forced Whitney to do anything and I think it's stupid and irresponsible to blame him for how her life ended. I think Kevin Costner may have spoken more to the truth of the situation than anyone else: she had her own insecurities to deal with; maybe she used drugs to cope. I saw let the dead rest in peace.

    rhonda Monday, 20 February 2012 18:51 Comment Link
  • CherryPie

    I absolutely agree with this ohhh so true article, I could not have said it any better! In addition, with the Houston family being church folk, one would think that they would have more compassion in their hearts (come on brothers & sisters). At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many hats you where, what your bank account looks like, or how special the "world" thinks you are, we are all human and are accountable for what we've done and how we've treated others. The most important indiviual between the two of them is no one but their daughter and she is of age to make her own decisions and should not be coerced into not having anything to do with her father (if that is really the case, based off of the internet). Nonetheless, he was married to this woman and loves his daughter and i am sad to hear that her people are treating him like it's his fault that she was on self destruct mode, when she had a mind of her own. Just my opinion.

    CherryPie Monday, 20 February 2012 18:50 Comment Link
  • Nivette Mason

    I'm not saying Bobby put the pipe to Whitney's mouth but... When you have a weak mind and a strong mind and you put them together the strong will over power the weak and that's what I myself think happened.. Even though I can't put the full blame on Bobby it was two ppl in that relationship... And as we watched Being Bobby Brown ultimately both Bobby and Whitney were high and the whole reason it was called Being Bobby Brown was because everyone wanted to see wth he did to her... I love the story you have up here but let not blame let's just say everyone had their part in Whitney's life who did what it doesn't matter what matters is there is one less soul diva, one less mother, one less daughter and yes one less wife....

    Nivette Mason Monday, 20 February 2012 18:16 Comment Link
  • LORETTA

    Whitney's problems were not the fault of her parents, her child, Bobby Brown, friends, etc. Yes, I am saddened by her death, saddened that WHITNEY'S CHOICES destroyed her gloriously gifted voice, her career, her life. Whitney was a grown ass woman with a mind of her own and Whitney was responsible for all her choices. NO ONE CAN FORCE AN ADDICT INTO REHAB. NO ONE CAN FORCE AN ADDICT TO GIVE UP THEIR ADDICTION. Just pray for Bobbi Kristina, who grew up in the middle of addiction, chaos, madness and confusion. Pray God gives her the strength to withstand the pull of addiction. Pray she's blessed with a strong and sound mind.

    LORETTA Monday, 20 February 2012 18:15 Comment Link
  • Carla

    I'm so happy to see other ppl in this world feel the same as I do. Bobby is not the blame for Whitney demise and ppl need to understand that. This man is grieving a great lost also, but his pain is more greater than most cause he never got to heal from the lost of his mother, then his father, now his ex wife, all in a years time. Now he have to hear all his haters blaming him. I love you BOBBY BROWN for life.

    Carla Monday, 20 February 2012 18:11 Comment Link
  • Deniece Malone

    So very true, and a well written article...Everyone needs to "STOP" blaming Bobby and treating him so bad...the past is the past and ONLY GOD knows the truth and ONLY GOD is the judge...Everyone should just leave this alone so that all parties, Bobby, Cissy & Bobby Christina can heal...what ever happened to forgiveness or is everyone better than GOD because I do believe GOD forgave her and Bobby for GOD is a forgiving GOD and if he forgives, why can't people...The way he was treated at the funeral was just a disgrace in itself and Bobby proved to be the better person and just leave with no scene...Whitney was a grown woman and was able to know right from wrong, she knew whom to seek in her time of need, she had more outlets and money to get her thru more than a normal everyday addict, yet she chose to continue on this path...To continue to slander Bobby or Whitney at this point is a waste of time...Everyone should just be praying for the families and Bobby Christinia and let that of the past....REMAIN IN THE PAST!!!! GOD IS THE ULTIMATE JUDGE AND WE SHOULD NOT JUDGE UNTIL WE HAVE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AT THE PERSON LOOKING BACK AT YOU...AND AT OUR OWN SKELETONS THAT ARE IN THE CLOSET...Whitney & Bobby are 2 people, that thru marriage became one but still had separate brains to make their own decisions...R.I.P Whitney you will never be forgotten and as for Bobby, stay strong and know...THIS 2 SHALL PASS...GOD BLESS.

    Deniece Malone Monday, 20 February 2012 18:10 Comment Link
  • Carolee

    All I can say love is with in. Regardless of who got who on drugs their world was beautiful to them until they decided to go separate ways. No couple or marriage is perfect. The only difference between my relationship and your relationship and Bobby and Whitney's relationship is that people don't know about ours, but we all know about theirs. The reason why is because they didn't keep any scretes like some other stars do. We all have DRAMA. I loved Whitney I admired her talent. I also have a heart for Bobby. I wish him the best of luck and I hope this don't break him as a man, but keep him stronger to be a better man. His daughter needs him and he need her.

    Carolee Monday, 20 February 2012 17:59 Comment Link
  • Roman James

    I think it is atrocious and completely insensitive the way the family treated Bobby at Whitney's funeral! Long before I ever visited that hell hole known as Newark, I watched with great curiosity and mild repulsion the interview Whitney gave Diane Sawyer in 2002. Back then is when I KNEW it was Whitney, not Bobby, leading that circus. I never viewed her the same way, but I came to understand her a lot better and why her and Bobby were together.

    I am proud to say that I never viewed "Being Bobby Brown." I participated in enough jokes about Whitney's deterioration, unfortunately, but that is not a way I wanted to see her. Even as people encouraged me to watch the show, I was resolute. Seeing commercial previews was enough to turn me off. Anyone who watched that show should know that Whitney was her own person, including her own family. It's a damn shame they are trying to scape-goat him for her death.

    He is definitely getting a bad rap. Instead of devolving into chaos, they should be focused on saving Whitney's one and only baby, Bobbi Kristina. She needs all of their support and trying to force Bobby out of her life will not help her already growing addictions...

    Roman James Monday, 20 February 2012 17:57 Comment Link
  • iVY

    i THOUGHT IT WAS UNFAIR FROM JUMP. EVEN IF HE DID INTRODUCED HER TO IT...IT STILL ISNT HIS FAULT. THE DEVIL USED BOBBY TO GET WHITNEY..THAT'S JUST HOW IT WORKS...JUST LIKE HE CONVINCED EVE TO EAT OFF THAT TREE THEN CONVINCE HER HUSBAND...HE SEEKS TO DESTROY AND UNFORTUNATELY, TOO MANY TIMES HE SUCCEEDS...RIP WHITNEY

    iVY Monday, 20 February 2012 17:53 Comment Link

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