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Blaming Bobby Brown

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Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • Geraldine

    I think Bobby Brown, shows that he is still in that childish stage and not ready to be that shoulder for Bobby K. to lean on or shear a tear, he should of been man enough to do what was asked of him, when he was told to bring two guest, then that is what he should of done. He can not make his own rules, he should of been man enough to compromise and not think of his own self, which is what he was doing, if he was thinking of Whitney and his daughter feelings, he should of obey the family command and waited until the right time. Bobby Brown, needs our prayers, I pray he go to church and ask God to show him what to do, and do it, if not for hisself, for his daughter, Goodnight and God bless us all.

    Geraldine Monday, 20 February 2012 23:37 Comment Link
  • jersey born

    I think anyone from Jersey already know Whitney was doing drugs before she got with Bobbie. Brown back in High school and collage. Years. She use to host those type. Of party's hell she was the first one at the. Upsala college to party in e.o NJ.

    jersey born Monday, 20 February 2012 23:36 Comment Link
  • A. Lewis

    When Whitney was going through her drug problems everyone had a lot to say about her,now that she is gone we love her so much,show people how much you love them when they are alive,as for Bobbi Kristina she is 18yrs old and still need guidance her parents were not the best examples,however let us pray for the family.

    A. Lewis Monday, 20 February 2012 23:30 Comment Link
  • Geraldine

    I disagree with Ms. Tracy Hutton about the way Bobby Kristin was handle in the concern of greeting the well wishers, etc. She is only 18 years old, at that learning and precious age. Her grandmothe Cissy did the right thing, in being a woman and wise as her grandmother. Cissy just want the best for her Granddaughter, her daughter Whitney and her mom was close, she had to tell her mom how she wanted her daughter to be taken care of, in case her time of death have come. Bobby K. is at the age where she needs her grandmother wise advice and guidance, Cissy is looking out for her granddaughters welfare, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    Geraldine Monday, 20 February 2012 23:21 Comment Link
  • erika pierce

    What's done is done. Why blame bobby for whitneys demons. She was a grown woman making her own choices. Bobby kris should have been able to grieve with her dad by her side. I think whitney would have wanted that. At one point in time she loved her some bobby. Not very christian like ms sissy houston shame on you.

    erika pierce Monday, 20 February 2012 23:19 Comment Link
  • Geraldine

    I love Whitney for who she was, whether she had a drug problem or not. My oppinion I believe Whitney had a drug problem before she met Bobby Brown, Bobby just was her way of getting the product, with out she having to go out there in the dark alleys of the street to retrieve it her self, but she played her self , trying to play some one like Bobby Brown, whitney was brought up in the industry around wealthy drug addicts, think about it. she was always in the drug scene, with Bobby it just came out more,

    Geraldine Monday, 20 February 2012 23:07 Comment Link
  • Betty Kearse

    I totally agree w/ Tracey Sutton - Bobbi Kristina should have been first to greet the well wishers and to leave the church. I hope her family does not keep her from her father as whatever went on between Bobby and Whitney was their business. I hope she is strong enough to not let her grandmother feelings words and actions toward her dad impact their relationship.

    Betty Kearse Monday, 20 February 2012 22:55 Comment Link
  • Nancy

    I'm truly happy someone wrote this article. Someone with common sense. It is truly tragic that Whitney passed away, especially the way she did. It's tragic for her entire family, including Bobby. I believe they loved each other. I believe Bobbi Kristina was made from love; and I am truly saddened that Bobby did not have his opportunity to say his goodbyes to the mother of his child because of seating arrangements. He arrived early and there we still issues. He certainly took the high road the day of her funeral. It was Whitney's day and he was not going to disrupt that and hurt his daughter.
    May she rest in peace and Bobbi Kristina and her Dad find each other so they can share in their grief.
    Rest In Paradise, Whitney.

    Nancy Monday, 20 February 2012 22:53 Comment Link
  • MRHOOKZ64

    Im getting sick of everybody blaming. Bobby for what happend. I'm sorry she,s gone. But also people she was a grown woman. And she did what she did
    Bobbi baby girl stay strong. Ur family & ur mom all were strong women. Keep ur head up baby. With her Faith. In God.. She,s alright. God bless the family at this time. Much love from me..God only takes the best to rest in soul heaven..

    MRHOOKZ64 Monday, 20 February 2012 22:44 Comment Link
  • MRHOOKZ64

    Im getting sick of everybody blaming. Bobby for what happend. I'm sorry she,s gone. But also people she was a grown woman. And she did what she did
    Bobbi baby girl stay strong. Ur family & ur mom all were strong women. Keep ur head up baby. With her Faith. In God.. She,s alright. God bless the family at this time. Much love from me..God only takes the best to rest in soul heaven..

    MRHOOKZ64 Monday, 20 February 2012 22:44 Comment Link

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