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Blaming Bobby Brown

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Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • SPITTS

    VERY WELL SAID , CASE AND POINT , REST WH !

    SPITTS Wednesday, 22 February 2012 01:54 Comment Link
  • mb

    Whitney is now at peace. The end came to a situation that was destine to come to a conclusion one way or another. People forget about the underlying issues tied to drug addiction and any other type of disease that affect the brain. It appeared that Whitney and Bobby came from two different worlds, but I think they ended up together and truly loved each other because they shared something in common. They understood each others psychological and emotional status. A status which is know to lead to possible abuse of substances, anxiety, impulsivity, fighting with their inner self, and extreme worry about what people think about them. Whitney had strong faith in GOD and was born with a talents that changed the world forever. I hope and pray that Bobbi Kris gets all the psychologial help and support that she needs to ensure a different path so she can make her own contribution to the world. I'm not being negative with this post but I live with a daughter who have fought the challenges I'm speaking of. To look at my daughter she appears just as normal as the next person, She's beautiful, smart, articulate, and has a GOD given talent that I have seen people respond to in very positive ways, but she is in a daliy struggle with her inner self wondering if she good enough. We've gotten all the professional help and support in place necessary to assist her with learning to live the life GOD has given her. GOD bless Cissy Houston, Bobbi Kris and Bobby Brown and the rest of the family in days to come. Know that Whitney is truly at peace and now knows that she is the epitome of perfect.

    mb Tuesday, 21 February 2012 23:45 Comment Link
  • nicci

    Whitney is no longer here..let her rest in peace from here through.god will guide bobby Christie in the right direction..no need to give bobby brown all the fame by talking about him..

    nicci Tuesday, 21 February 2012 21:49 Comment Link
  • keeping it real

    Its harder to kick those serious kinds of drugs than you think. I believe that Bobbi and Whitney are both to blame, but I do believe that their marriage should have never happened. They were bad for each other and the whole world got to witness that. Bobbi was stronger at be able to kick those drugs and he enjoyed it while Whitney's money supplied it, just like she did. She wasn't strong enough to kick hers and he didn't do her any justice in trying to help her either. Whitney was one of the ones, sadly to say that just couldn't kick it until it was too late. Turning to prescription drugs and alcohol is just another form of addiction. Whitney was still in a lot of pain both emotionally and physically and in the end it lead to her demise. Poor Bobby Brown, Please......... get real! Bobby Brown is still here enjoying his life. I don't say Blame him for it all, but don't make him look like an alter boy either. Its too late now, blame won't bring Whitney back. God knew it was time to end the pain that the world could not for Whitney. Such a sad tragic story of what could have been a beautiful life. The words come to mind, what does it do a man to inherit all the riches of the world and in turn lose his soul. May God have mercy on Bobby to step up as a Father and save his daughter. That is the best remorse he can show Whitney and Love for the life they lead in front of their daughter. She is the one who needs help now. Whitney is gone and Bobby, who cares?
    This lIfe goes on.

    keeping it real Tuesday, 21 February 2012 20:00 Comment Link
  • Imani

    We all have choices to make, but sometimes we can become ENABLERS or CONTRIBUTORS to a person's downfall. Example......Someone is a drug addict and you continue to give them money...knowing that they are going to purchase drugs or Someone you know is an alcoholic, but you aren't ; however you take them to a bar. Horrible circumstances or situations can also lead to a person with no addictions or casual usage of drugs or alcohol to depend heavily on them to cope.Please also note that Whitney was an ICON Bobbie wasn't he was walking in her shadow. Whitney died alone as will all of us. You come into this world alone, and you will leave this world alone.. Please stop trying to place Bobbie Brown on a pedal stool. Whitney was doing well as far as we know at first also. Let's see what his new wife (Alicia Etheridge) will have to say in a few years.. No Matter....Only OUR Heavenly Father Knows.......Habakkuk 2:15 (Whole Chapter)
    Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!
    God knows who introduced her to drugs, encouraged her to them and supplied them to her. THEY WILL ANSWER TO THE LORD !! Everyone has their own struggles and..sometimes life doesn't make them any easier to bare.

    Imani Tuesday, 21 February 2012 19:07 Comment Link
  • Sammie

    This article is soothing for those who do not want the blame to be put on Bobby Brown but he was part of Whitney's problem. I don't think he can be blamed totally for drug and alcohol addiction but he can be blamed for some. There is a saying that says "You are either part of the problem, or you are part of the solution." Come on before they got married again I say '"married" she was not addicted to drugs and alcohol. She was seeing another black high profile guy before Bobby Brown came along and was not addicted to drugs. Mind you she was no princess, yeah she came from the hood, yeah she fell in love with a "bad boy" but when she entered "Bobby's World" she did not know how it was going to change. Bobby was her enabler, her drug and her co-dependent. He was a person who could do all the drugs and alcohol and walk away for a few days and function, she couldn't. Her body became addicted to the drugs and alcohol. No one in anothers sphere for 15 years who saw where she was going and did not try to get her help can't bear some of the blame. He rod on it, enjoyed it, benefited from it and when her body started aging he left it. You don't have any evidence that he furnished the drugs and alcohol but you don't have any evidence that he didn't. I know women who were not rich and famous as Whitney who got entangled in that kind of world, with that kind of individual and ended up having the same thing happen to them.The Lord saw his child and said it was time to take her home where her soul could be at rest. No more sorrow, no more heartache, no more pain. I pray for Bobby Brown, her daughter and her mother because they are the ones that are left on this earth to live with the memories (good and bad) and the pain.

    Sammie Tuesday, 21 February 2012 18:56 Comment Link
  • maiia

    Whitney was a grown mature woman she did what she wanted to do....It ain't right to be blaming Bobby Brown..... Adults make they own choices..... God called whitney home Bobby didn't kill her..he wasn't even their he got clean and sober whitney didn't. That ain't his fault.... Who introduced who to drugs we will never know so let it go....It don't even matter....

    maiia Tuesday, 21 February 2012 17:27 Comment Link
  • Nicole

    Thank you for this article. i have been saying the same thing for years. Whitney and Bobbi had more in common than most people think and Whitney's image had alot to do with us thinking somehow she was a good girl who fell in love with a bad boy. funny thing is, that is not uncommon, but you need to be prepared for all that is to come when you get hooked up with a bad boy. Also, think of how many of us Christian girls, like Whitney, grew up in the church, told not to do this and that and to be a good girl, but we meet someone who peaks our interest and then we forget all we have been taught. Whitney was ultimately responsible for Whitney's choices and actions. it is easy to blame Bobby Brown, He is a great scapegoat, but we are forced to see that Whitney was not the perfect angel her image painted her to be. That is okay. She is like the rest of us, mortal and human. Too bad her choices took her from us so soon.

    Nicole Tuesday, 21 February 2012 17:04 Comment Link
  • gm

    Thank you for writing this article. I pray that Bobby remains clean and Bobbi Kristina does not emulate the destruction she grew up seeing and the rest of the family find peace in God. R.I.P WHITNEY!!!

    gm Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:35 Comment Link
  • big dust

    Fam bobby didnt turn ms.Houston out shaka khan introduced her to that thang bobby was the victem.she had the money to buy it not bobby.she turned bobby out if you ask me.rest n peace ms.Houston but you did it to yourself.kickd it till you kickd it.my side of the story.

    big dust Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:35 Comment Link

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