A+ R A-

Blaming Bobby Brown

Rate this item
(150 votes)
Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • Bryant Duncan

    Those were Whitney's kids also they and Bobby should have been accommodated.

    Bryant Duncan Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:53 Comment Link
  • Nicole

    I agree 100% !!!!!!
    This is sad and so true leave HIM alone she made choice regardless and must be held accountable for HER ACTIONS!!!!

    Nicole Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:00 Comment Link
  • A. Murphy

    Why must anyone write an article like this NOW? Why wasn't it written shortly after the Oprah show? The tone THEN was the same TONE that it is now !! How does the writer know that Bobbie is being blamed for her death and addiction of Whitney Houston? It all comes down to choices, good or bad........They all have consequences. Does it really matter at this point? REALLY DOES IT MATTER !! LET IT GO !! Find something more constructive to spend your time writing about !! Nothing that we say or do will bring Whitney Houston back. Stop trying to paint pictures of either of them because ONLY God knows both of them. There are other things to write about like...The rise of racism in America. Why don't you spend your time writing about that.?? Whitney had a wonderful career, and a life that some of us can only dream about. She left a wonderful Legacy......Bobbi K needs the Lord in her life and to be kept in our prayers.......

    A. Murphy Tuesday, 21 February 2012 01:07 Comment Link
  • Tonisia

    I believe as Humans, we often look for someone to blame! However, none of us truly know what was always going on in the lives of Whitney and Bobby for sure. However, I do believe the family (Whitney's family) was privy to more than they will ever share.( At least for right now.) If you saw Whitney on Oprah two years ago, she alluded to there being a lot more she could have said about her life with Bobby when he was upset by the things she did share. Based on the latter, I believe the family had their reasons for shunning him at the Funeral.
    Yes, they had been married for 15 years, but divorced 5. Whitney also, had full custody of their daughter and that could have been one of the reasons he was treated the way he was. Again, I say NONE US know the real untold story for sure. If I were Bobby Brown, I would just let it go and be the father he is supposed to be to his daughter ,and for all of us to send up prayers for Bobbi Kristina, to stay on track, not to blame herself for any of it (for she seemed to have been a parentified child) and to grow up to be the fine and Beautiful Woman Whitney wanted her to be!!!
    Tonisia

    Tonisia Tuesday, 21 February 2012 00:23 Comment Link
  • Marie Ola Johnson Leddell

    My prayers go out to the family, especially Bobbi Kris. I hope she and her father can have a good a loving relationship! And hopefully Whitney's family don't stand in the way of that. I believe Whitney would want her daughter and ex to have a good relationship. There was destructive behavior in this marriage, but I also believe there was love! I too don't think Bobby Brown should be blamed for her drug involvement, because I too believe she was involved with drugs before hooking up with him. He had that BAD BOY image and took a lot of the blame for her . But we are now at the point that who cares?? Whitney leaves a wonderful legacy and there is not enough drugs in the world to tarnish it!!!!

    Marie Ola Johnson Leddell Tuesday, 21 February 2012 00:18 Comment Link
  • Andrea Brown

    Everyone has a different story and/or opinion, but as it was said during her services ... Whitney only has God to answer to right now. Rest in Peace, Whitney.

    Andrea Brown Tuesday, 21 February 2012 00:17 Comment Link
  • Rachelle

    I'm not sure who did what, and that is not for me to speculate on. What I know is that when this woman was on fire, she broke every record the music industry had out there. She sang for us and gave us all the music she had in her soul, when she could. For that I thank her.

    What I also know is this, if Bobby was to blame for anything, fate has a way of fixing things.He would reap what he sowed. I hope for his sake he was not to blame. My heart hurts for Whitney's mom, her child, and her extended family. We lost a legendary singer, they lost a mother, a sister, a cousin, a niece, and a daughter.

    Let her rest in peace people, it's over - it's done and it's final. Whatever demons this lady had she paid the ultimate price for them. Her payment was her "LIFE". I think she's paid in full....what do you think?

    Rachelle Tuesday, 21 February 2012 00:17 Comment Link
  • Golden

    So sick of the blame. She knew what h was into you can say no to other thing like movies and shows that pays but couldn't say know to drugs you have to pay for. Why is it celebrities can be excuses from their choses but regular ppl always have to take responsibilities for everyting we do. Who's to say she was shelton from real life instead of being taught about the world. Plenty parents avoid such this and when the child get ito the world they'll try everything cuzz they know nothing. I do love Whitney. But truth knows no fame

    Golden Monday, 20 February 2012 23:59 Comment Link
  • Teresa

    I never blamed Bobby for anything. Whitney's death is a tragedy. I do think that Bobby should've remained at the funeral for his daughter. It's understandable that he would be upset about Bobbi Kristina's siblings not being able to attend, but in the end nothing was more important than supporting his and Whitney's daughter. He shouldn't have left, but instead should've let the people with him leave and he should have remained to comfort his daughter. He's trying to portray himself as a person who didn't want to cause a scene but, with the details of the church being so small and the large number they would accommodate, he should've asked how many "guests" could accompany him!

    Teresa Monday, 20 February 2012 23:47 Comment Link
  • Tangela Cobb

    I don't know y anyone does what they do...but I am so sure the we all do what we wanna do...the Bible tells us that we are drawn from our own lust...we have to take responsibility for our own actions ...who are we to judge ...God is the just judge ...I applaud Bobby for wanting to pay homage & his last respect to Whitney ...we should all do as Jesus gave the perfect example is to love others despite their faults ...I don't think Bobby or his family should have been treated the way they were ...but I'm sure that with the help of God all of them will be able to move on peaceably it is my prayer ...to others please keep the bereaved family lifted up in prayer ...we all are gonna leave here someday ...what are others gonna remember most about u when ur lying in that coffin ..be blessed

    Tangela Cobb Monday, 20 February 2012 23:45 Comment Link

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter the (*) required information where indicated. HTML code is not allowed.

Featured Poll

Do you agree with Mayor Vincent Gray’s decision to enable the Department of Motor Vehicles to issue a driver's license, learner's permit, or identification card to undocumented District residents?