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Blaming Bobby Brown

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Blaming Bobby Brown Courtesy Photo

Fifteen years ago, none of us would have guessed that in 2012, Bobby would be remarried, the father to a young child and (allegedly) sober for years and that Whitney would die alone in the Beverly Hills Hotel with Xanax and an uneaten turkey sandwich by her side. Many had hoped that the end of what seemed to be the toxic Bobby and Whitney marriage would signal the rebirth of the latter's career and her health. That was not to be the case.

Before Real Housewives of Atlanta and Basketball Wives lowered the threshold for what is considered to be acceptable on-screen behavior, there was Bravo's Being Bobby Brown. The hit series, which ran but one fateful season, took a look into the life of the aging R&B star, his children and, most notably, his drug-addled wife Whitney Houston. It was a train wreck and impossible to look away. On one hand, you had the loving father who doted on other kids from the family as much as he did his own, the tender relationship between mother and daughter and the undeniably powerful bond that kept Bobby and Whitney together for 15 years. But then you had the once-powerful couple looking high as a kite, swimming in booze and talking as if they had no concept of cameras and fame (a particular low came via Brown recalling the time he helped his wife pull a stubborn piece of you-know-what from her rectum). For many viewers, the show served as a confirmation: that Negro from Boston had ruined our pretty, pretty princess.

Bobby Brown met Whitney Houston at the 1989 Soul Train Awards, the same year she was booed there by an audience that didn't yet find her pop sound "Black" enough to warrant inclusion in such a Black event. The two very shortly thereafter became inseparable and were married in a 1992 ceremony that made jaws drop across the land. Whitney, as we knew her before Bobby, was classy and stunning and sober. Whitney after the couple's marriage was loud, defiant and, later, troubled. Thus, Brown must have been to blame.

It's curious how few folks considered Whitney's choice of husband to be a reflection of who she was all along. No, I'm not saying that she was always into drugs and always bent on self-destruction. But there has never been any concrete proof that Brown rolled up at that woman's castle on a chariot filled with dope and Marlboros and turned her out. Yet that is the narrative so many of us have clung to for the better part of two decades.

The couple's "Something In Common" was often used as a joke-the something MUST be crack, HA! -but it actually seemed to be a message to those who didn't understand how two people who looked so different from the outside could be in love. This is where the public's inability to understand branding comes in. Both these kids where from the hood, both experienced fame at a very early age...yet one was molded by a svengali who dressed her in gowns and touted her as a Black Miss America who could sing her face off, while the other's wild antics ended up pulling him from a popular boy band and made him a solo star. Bobby touted his isms, Whitney hid hers. But they were there all along.

As dream hampton mentions in her loving lament for the late diva, industry folks always knew that Houston was "more Newark Black church girl than the debutante" Clive Davis sold us. She and Bobby made sense in ways we may not have instantly recognized, but to reduce their story to that of a guy from the wrong side of the tracks getting a good girl hooked on drugs and booze does both parties a great disservice. And it does absolutely nothing to bring Whitney back.

This is a devastating time for Bobby Brown, as he has lost one of the great loves of his life and the mother of his daughter (Brown's father also passed away last December and his mother, in early 2011). For a recovering addict, this is a dangerous space, one that could very easily lure someone back into the throes of substance abuse. As we do not know now and likely never will if Brown truly introduced Whitney to habits that devastated her career and eventually claimed her life, we owe it to him, to her and to Bobbi Kristina NOT to saddle him with the responsibility for the great tragedy that has occurred.


Jamilah Lemieux is the News and Lifestyle editor for EBONY.com.

Last modified on Tuesday, 14 February 2012 22:27

222 comments

  • Nhyesha

    I think people should leave bobby alone if they did do drugs whitney could have said no she had her own mind and like bobby said she was on drugs before she got with him..... really find yall something else to talk about Whitney is dead REST IN PEACE whats done is done .I congratulate Bobby for 7 years of clean and sober keep it up suga focus on your family and fans

    Nhyesha Tuesday, 01 May 2012 13:30 Comment Link
  • RodG

    Be clear. Whitney was on that "WHITNEY" WAAAAAAAY before she met Bobby Brown. Whitney also used to be roommates with Cherrelle. They BOTH were getting it in with that sex, drugs and rock n roll lifestyle. Heck, Whitney has even said it in interviews herself that she led that lifestyle. Bobby didn't turn her on to nothing new. For all we know, she could have turned Bobby on to that "WHITNEY". Remember before he met Whitney the only stories you would hear about Bobby were of weed and alcohol.

    RodG Thursday, 19 April 2012 00:00 Comment Link
  • Allan Boyland

    How can anyone blame BB for what happened 2 WH they were not even 2gether she was kicking with RAY J why dont they ask him what happened 2 her

    Allan Boyland Thursday, 01 March 2012 16:44 Comment Link
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    FropsyMor Thursday, 01 March 2012 09:07 Comment Link
  • Joslyn

    I agree 100% It's a heavy thing to blame someone for the life of another. Wouldn't dream of doing such a thing without knowing all the facts. I miss Whitney and feel sorry for Bobby and their daughter. At the end of the day we're all human. "When we're alone we're all the same as each other." It's so easy to point fingers, but I'm so glad some of us don't get condemned for the wrong we do (big or small). What ever happened to GRACE and LOVE? I don't know about anyone else, but I'm striving to be better and be different. I aim to love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable, respect those that don't deserve my respect, and be more than what others expect of me. We've gotta do better. I'll be praying.

    Joslyn Sunday, 26 February 2012 02:59 Comment Link
  • mrdeshon

    Wow! Im stunned how quickly it seems the world has turned on Whitney. She was the queen of pop hands down yet got the same treatment the king of pop got upon death. People know so little about these two yet speak @ great lengths about them as if theyre old friends. Truth is, all you KNOW is media based! None of us could fathom the loneliness of the lives of these two. Surrounded by people daily yet never being able to trust anyone. Catered to like spoiled kids & not having someone around who loves you enough to say"Hey thats enough!". Our media is sick because we as a society is sick. We glamorize people who are super skinny,addicts,& mentally unstable. What does that say about us? We are a nation of people who dont value ourselves. I loved Whitney Houston because she could sing & also because she beared her pain & took the ridicule. She was in pain inside. RIP Queen of Pop!

    mrdeshon Saturday, 25 February 2012 11:47 Comment Link
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  • tytyskids@ comcast.net

    Cissy didnot have anything to do wit Bobby being asked to move around, we go by wat we hear people can say anything and it' s beleived...Man let's just be still and be greatful it waz ' t you it ' s time to fix wat' s broken in our lives that should keep a lot of us buzy....or are u perfect....that family is broken hearted can u even imagine the pain , try to really try to, than im sure if u have a heart...u will give them all a break and PRAY FOR COMFORT for them and PRAY FOR ANOTHER DAY FOR YOU.

    tytyskids@ comcast.net Thursday, 23 February 2012 17:52 Comment Link
  • Clyde

    Bobby reminds me eddie kane from the five heartbeats a rea good guy jus having a hard time in life.. Jus lik eddie did @ the end he got his life bac on track.. Everyone has or knows a family member lik tht.. Im always pulling for my guy.

    Clyde Thursday, 23 February 2012 14:12 Comment Link
  • african evans

    she was on drugs before Bobby but I stilll loved her they need to realize that

    african evans Thursday, 23 February 2012 04:25 Comment Link

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