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Broke, But Not Broken

Lyndia Grant | 3/17/2010, 11:42 a.m.


Lyndia Grant

This week€s column deals with a topic near and dear to all of us. It€s about relationships between men and women. While watching CNN, I heard an interesting interview with author Stephen James Dixon, who has written a new book titled, €Men Don€t Heal.€

Mr. Dixon lists 10 things he believes are important to secure and maintain a strong relationship or marriage. Of the 10 points, I have selected two to discuss. My first point, talks about how we should look for someone who is not broken. I don€t mean €broke€ as in money. I mean, broken in his spirit, his wallet and his heart. Dixon said, €If he doesn€t have faith in God to get him back on his feet, if he doesn€t have a plan to fix his wallet and he is emotionally unstable, forget about him.€

He can€t take care of you if he can€t take care of himself. Again, Mr. Dixon didn€t say broke, meaning broke in terms of money. A man being broke is not an excuse for not giving him a chance. Money can be made. It comes and it goes.

An example that I often talk about, is my brother, Dalton Grant. He€s a very successful entrepreneur, in Los Angeles, Calif. However, he experienced some hard times with his business. He and his wife had to live with relatives, put their furniture in storage and start all over again.

He lost his only major contract, when a bank closed. He never received his final check which was more than $100,000. He couldn€t afford such a loss, yet he lost everything. But his wife didn€t leave him. She still believed in him.

Today, he is back on his feet, this time, making millions, in a stable business environment. He learned a valuable lesson when he was down and out: €Never depend on one source of income as an entrepreneur.€ Today, he has many contracts.

Suppose his wife had left him when he was down. She would not have experienced the lifestyle she enjoys today. She does not have to work; has a housekeeper; she volunteers in her community and for her church. She enjoys life with my brother.

He was broke, but not broken. The problem with a lot of us ladies is that we are so busy looking at a brother€s pocket that often times, we fail to see the potential. He could be on the verge of making money, especially if he€s a Christian brother, and doing what the word says in Proverbs 5:3-5, €Trusting in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.€

According to Chicagoland Marriage Resource Center, people from every social, economic and ethnic group in the United States are impacted by family break-ups and high-risk relationships. Here are some statistics from the center about the African American community compared to others:

African Americans are less likely than any other group in America to marry. Married couples head 76 percent of American families. The figure for African American families is 47.9 percent.

Between 1960 and 1995, the number of African American children living with two married parents dropped from 75 percent to 33 percent.

Only 17.7 percent of Non-Hispanic White children live in single-parent families, compared to 46.2 percent of African American children.

Given these astounding statistics, women, we must evaluate the man. Mr. Dixon said, €You already know to look for a man who puts God first right; a man who is walking by faith and not by sight; someone who prays without ceasing.€

Call on Lyndia Grant to speak at your retreats, workshops and other special occasions. Visit her website at www.lyndiagrant.com or send comments to lyndiagrant@lyndiagrant.com. Java Script is required to view the site, or call for an appointment at 202-518-3192.