Author James R. Lyons says true attractiveness can not be seen in the mirror but, instead lies inside. Courtesy PhotoA good plastic surgeon may be able to create physical beauty, but he or she can not create something that is far more important and appealing: attractiveness. In fact, all women are born with the potential to be attractive, and that attractiveness does not depend on a woman's physicality.
It comes from within.
Some women are lucky enough to be born attractive, and that is great. But all women can develop the skills they need to become more attractive. Here are the top traits that make people attractive:
Self-esteem. Feeling good about yourself on the inside shows on the outside. Looking as though you're comfortable in your own skin -- rather than appearing to be edgy, nervous, fidgety, or self conscious -- gives you a radiance and an air of self confidence that we all find appealing. So, develop a realistic sense of your own worth, and a positive self image. It will show!
Focus. A guy can go to dinner with a beautiful woman, but within 20 minutes, the date will be over if there is no real sharing between them. For any woman-- beautiful or not -- to be attractive, she has to be fully present in the moment with the people around her. If she focuses outside of herself, she will attract others. If she's self-absorbed, it's a complete turnoff.
Kindness. Attractiveness truly does come from within. A woman who is compassionate, giving and caring trumps a woman with a pretty face every time. A genuinely kind woman with a big heart draws others to her, and she makes them feel good when they are with her. Her positive energy, which she shares with others, is the key to her attractiveness.
Grace. The movie star and princess, Grace Kelly, was appropriately named. She had the posture, movement, gait and stance that men find so attractive. Women can have a beautiful physique, or a great nose, or wonderful cheekbones -- but, without that regal poise, it's all meaningless. Grace is the attribute that allows women to be attractive with every move they make -- or even when they sit still â€“ because of the way they carry themselves. Proper exercise and a high-quality diet are integral components of developing the grace that makes women attractive.
Social intelligence. Women do not need a degree from the "right" school or a genius-level I.Q., to attract others. They do, however, need good conversation and social skills. Any woman -- however introverted she might be -- can show real curiosity about matters that interest others and can learn to ask the right questions. If she listens carefully to the answers and can "bounce" off a vast array of personalities and types to create meaningful social interactions, she will be as attractive as anyone could hope to be.
If physicality were all that mattered, then all women would visit plastic surgeons, and they would all be beautiful. Plastic surgeons would control the attractiveness of women and decide which of them gets to be the most attractive. But that is not the way it works. A plastic surgeon can create a human "doll," and can move fat from one place to another to create curves, but he or she can not create attractiveness. That is something a woman has to do for herself.
James R. Lyons, M.D., is a plastic surgeon and author of â€œThe Brown Fat Revolution.â€ Visit him online at www.thebrownfatrevolution/.